


Blend Into The Shadows

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-14
Updated: 2009-10-18
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen meets a stranger that gives a necklace, an amulet that holds special power to give the person that wears it their most truest desire





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

"Jared, come on…why not?" Jensen asked. He was laying on his side, his hand slowly trailing down Jared’s naked back, coming to rest in the small dip just above his ass.

 

"'Cause man – it’s still all new for us. I just don’t want that right now. I want it to be just us for a while, Jen," Jared said, rolling over on his side.

 

"So it’s not a no, just a not now?"

 

"Definitely a not now, it’s a not now like crazy," Jared chuckled. "I don’t mean to sound selfish, Jen, it’s just that we just got our heads outta our butts four months ago – I don’t want kids right now," Jared said as he ran his hand along Jensen’s side. "Is that ok?"

 

Jensen gave a soft smile – determined not to cry. "Yeah, it’s ok." Jared rolled over on top of him and kissed him slowly, Jensen opened his mouth to him. He could feel Jared growing hard again – he wanted to envelop him, taste him, feel him in his soul – he wanted to make love to him forever, never let Jared leave his arms…but he had to leave. He’d do it tomorrow when Jared left for work for some Sam-heavy scenes. Jensen would essentially drop off the radar; he wasn’t going to allow Jared to stay out of some sense of duty, stay just because he was going to be a father. No, Jensen wouldn’t do that – he wouldn’t allow that. He’d been lucky to have two loving parents who were still married and still in love with each other; but he’d been witness to many marriages and couples who "stayed together for the kids". No, he wouldn’t do that to Jared – or to their baby.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Four months ago

 

Supernatural was coming up on filming it’s series finale fairly soon. Five years of Sam and Dean Winchester, and it was over.

 

Dean had managed to save Sam when Ruby turned out, in fact, to be Lilith, and stopped her from turning Sam evil. So the real battle between good and evil was ready to begin – all out Armageddon, the apocalypse.

 

They'd had a particularly hard shoot and decided to stop off at the package store for some much needed alcohol – Jensen’s treat.

 

When Jensen climbed back into the SUV, their driver headed to their house. Jared fell asleep on the way home, his head lolling over to Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen only snorted and allowed him to lie there.

 

"Jay – we’re home man. Wake up," Jensen said. lightly tugging on Jared’s arm. Jared opened his eyes and looked at him. Jensen wanted to lean down and kiss him. He was so rumpled looking, hair askew from the craptastic day they’d had – he just wanted to kiss him deeply.

 

Jared frowned slightly, Jensen blushed and got out and rushed to the door. "Cold ass Vancouver nights," he fussed on his way up the drive.

 

Jared followed Jensen in the door; he locked it and bent to greet his babies. He looked up as Jensen walked down the hall.

 

"Jen?" Jared said, leaning against the doorframe into the living room.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"What was that in the car?"

 

"What was what in the car?" Jensen frowned.

 

Jared walked up and stood right in front of him. Jensen backed into the wall. Jared stepped closer.

 

"That look…on your face," Jared whispered as he stepped even closer, their bodies almost touching. "You looked like," Jared huffed against Jensen’s skin as he leaned forward, "like you were going to kiss me," he finally finished – his lips brushed against Jensen’s cheek.

 

Jensen’s body gave a full shiver; he raised his head and looked Jared in the eye. Licked his lips and whispered "I was…"

 

Jared slid his hand along Jensen’s face, his thumb gliding gently along the cheek, his hand carding back into Jensen’s short hair. He leaned forward, a small smile playing along his lips as Jensen pulled his own bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it slightly…a nervous habit that Jensen did – and Jared loved seeing him do.

 

Jared pressed his body against Jensen, their groins coming in contact, eliciting small groans from both men. Jared reached his mouth, their lips touching for the first time. Electricity shot through Jensen’s veins, his hands came up and rested on Jared’s hips, his fingers toying with the waistband, feeling hot warm skin just under the edge of the shirt.

 

Jared pressed his tongue against Jensen’s lips, begging for entrance. Jensen opened his mouth and allowed Jared to sweep his tongue inside and began to dance against the other. Jared shifted slightly, his cock pressed against Jensen’s hipbone, causing his own erection to grow harder.

 

Jared deepened the kiss as his hands slid down Jensen’s perfect ass, cupping his cheeks in his huge hands. Jared lifted Jensen off of the floor. He made a mild-sounding squeak at being picked up – but the idea that Jared could do that to him made him practically come in his jeans. Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s waist relaxing, bringing their dicks against each other again.

 

Jared leaned fully against Jensen’s body, pressing him harder against the wall, and started to slowly rock his hips, giving both their cocks much needed friction.

 

"Oh God," Jensen gasped, arching off of the wall and stretching his head back. Jared took advantage and latched his mouth to the supple skin.

 

He licked and bit and lavished Jensen's neck while grinding over and over against his body, bringing him to completion, his body shuddering and shaking, his mouth calling Jared’s name when he came.

 

The sounds Jensen was making, along with the passionate way that he grasped Jared around the neck and pressed himself fully against his body riding out his orgasm, shoved Jared over the edge, causing him to come hard and long in his pants, his breath hot against Jensen’s skin, his lips skating along the tender flesh of his neck.

 

"I love you…" Jared whispered.

 

Those three little words changed everything, and they fell full force into a relationship and never looked back, never regretted it.

 

Until now.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jensen looked around the house one last time, and a single tear trailed down his cheek. He’d packed his suitcases and taken a few of the photos of them together, said goodbye to the dogs and now stood at the door. A taxi was waiting outside to take him to the airport.

 

He took a deep breath, turned and headed off to his new life.

 

A piece of paper sat on the coffee table awaiting Jared’s return. It simply read:

 

Jay,

 

I can’t do this anymore – I’m sorry.

 

Jen

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Three months ago

 

The boys were in their trailer on the couch, making out like a couple of horny teenagers. It had been raining terribly hard, and the shots were getting screwed up from the wind and debris blowing around, so a break had been called for to see if the weather let up.

 

This particular show featured a fortune-teller, played by a rather convincing, much older-than-normal female star. She’d taken to Jensen as he had to her, and they had talked at considerable length during lunch. (Jared had taken the dogs on a walk).

 

"Take this," she said as she pulled a necklace from around her neck. It had a strange, round pendant on it with a fat little statue figure in the center of it. "It will help you achieve your heart's truest desire. But know this, you must not take if off. You must wear it until you achieve true joy and contentment in your life - that's when you will pass it on to another. But not until that moment, or the loss will be devastating."

 

That was the day he got pregnant. Jared fucked him slow and hard, right there on the couch in the trailer as the rain pelted down on the roof.

 

A few weeks later, he'd felt ill in the morning, thrown up three times before lunch, and again the next day and the day after that.

 

He’d gone to the doctor and they’d run a battery of tests but couldn’t find the "problem". Two weeks after that, Jensen felt…weird. He felt pregnant. He knew that it was impossible. Men couldn’t have babies – but he just knew that he was carrying a baby inside him.

 

He’d bought three pregnancy tests, went to a bathroom at a fill up station, and taken all three tests. All three came out positive.

 

He’d immediately called Eric and demanded a way to get into touch with the old lady from the show.

 

Eric said he’d do his best and hung up. Jensen’s phone rang at the exact moment he’d hung up with Eric.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Is this not what you wished for? Your true hearts desire was to have a child. A child that came from you and your lover. The pendant does not lie."

 

Jensen sighed. "You should have warned me what it would do! I’m fucking pregnant. I can’t even wrap my mind around that! How the fuck is the baby going to get out? I'm not having no assbaby!" Jensen barked into the phone.

 

"Come to me, sweet boy - I know someone who can look after your needs, conceal your identity, help you as your baby grows inside you so that your life does not become a circus."

 

"I don't know you. You could be some lunatic crazy person who's gonna chop me up in a million pieces after my baby is born!"

 

The old lady chuckled into the phone. "I live in New Jersey. My name is Sienna; you come see me, and I will introduce you to my friend."

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

"Jen! I’m home!" Jared called out happily. "Why didn’t you come up to the set today? We were supposed to meet for lunch."

 

Harley and Sadie barked and danced around their master excitedly until Jared pet and loved on them. "Where’s Jensen?" he asked them.

 

Jared walked into the living room and scanned it, shrugged and headed upstairs. Maybe Jensen was already in bed. He pushed open their bedroom door and peered inside. Jensen’s dresser drawers were open…his clothes gone.

 

Jared went white. Then he panicked.

 

He took the stairs four at a time running down them, calling out Jensen’s name over and over. He checked every room, the garage, out back – everywhere. Then he saw the note. Jared bent and picked up the paper. He collapsed to the floor, a scream that he didn’t even realize he made escaping his lips. Jensen’s note swayed back and forth in the air as it fell to the floor, finally coming to rest underneath the couch.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Six months later

 

Jensen had moved to The Hamptons. He’d always been conscientious to save money. He’d made great money on Supernatural and saved the larger part of it, added in with bonuses and convention fees. He’d also had stocks that he’d sold…and then there was his trust from his grandparents that he’d gotten when he’d turned twenty-five. The only people who knew about it was his family. Mackenzie and Josh both had the same, and it was a nice, sizable amount of cash. Jensen hadn’t spent any of that money in five years. He was set for life – he wouldn’t have to work. He would spend the next eighteen years raising his and Jared’s child and providing him or her a stable and loving life.

 

He grew his hair out quite a bit longer than he wore it when he was on Supernatural, and he had dyed it a deep, rich, dark brown. He wore contacts to change his eye color, and layers of clothing so that he just looked heavy – not pregnant.

 

He was right at nine months now, and was awaiting the arrival of Sienna and Mitch. Mitch was somewhat of a ‘free spirit’ who also lived in the Hamptons. He’d spent several years in Vietnam and came home a different man. His medical training had allowed him to care for Jensen during his pregnancy. He closely monitored him, made sure that he ate well, and was now arriving with Sienna and two other close friends to assist in the child’s birth.

 

Jensen knew the right and wrong things to eat and how to care for a small child. He used to pretend that Mackenzie was his when she was first born. He was excited and read each and every book that Sienna sent him or that Mitch brought on his daily visits.

 

Jensen was getting nervous. He knew that Mitch had extensive medical training and would do alright with everything. He trusted him. But you just can’t be calm and relaxed when you’re about to have surgery.

 

He was pacing back and forth in his living room when his phone rang. "Yeah?" he said into the cell.

 

"Are you watching TV?" the voice asked. "Channel 9 is pretty interesting."

 

"Who is this?"

 

They hung up.

 

Jensen picked up the remote control and turned it on channel 9. It was one of those "Inside Celebrity" reports. Jared had been arrested. Again.

 

Jensen had been following everything with Jared since he left his old life, friends and family behind. Jared had taken the loss of Jensen from his life hard. He finished up Supernatural and moved back to L.A., then turned to partying and hanging out with the rich brat pack kids living the high life on mommy and daddy’s money. Paris Hilton had become one of his bar buddies, and the duo had been arrested numerous times. Jensen often wondered if he’d been banging her, but he supposed that it wasn’t any of his business anymore.

 

Jensen hadn’t spoken to his parents or siblings, because he knew that if he did, they’d tell Jared where he was. And he wasn’t going through that. He still loved Jared with every fiber of being inside him. But he wasn’t going to take Jared into his life when he didn’t want children. His baby had to come first. Had to. Period.

 

"Channel 9 reporter Jim Taylor was at the scene last night. Jim, can you tell us what happened?"

 

"Well Charlotte, actor Jared Padalecki was in a local bar here on Vine. It appears that Jared

 

and gal-pal Paris Hilton were inside, and when an insistent fan kept pursuing Paris, Jared took matters into his own hands with the over enthusiastic fan. Both Padalecki and Hilton were arrested for minor disturbance of the peace, inciting a riot, and drunk and disorderly. Both have since been released..."

Jensen turned off the television, cutting off the reporter’s words. He couldn’t listen to this anymore.

 

Jensen picked up the phone and dialed Jared’s phone number.

 

"WHAT?" he yelled into the phone, obviously woken from a deep sleep.

 

Jensen didn’t say anything.

 

"Hello?" Jared said gruffly.

 

Jensen swallowed and opened his mouth to say something. Anything.

 

"Jensen?" Jared said in a slightly higher voice. "Jen is that you?" he said hopefully. "Talk to me baby…" Jared said, just barely above a whisper. "Please…"

 

"What are you doing to your life, Jared?" Jensen whispered. "This isn’t you. You need to pull it together, man."

 

"Come home, Jen. Please come home to me," Jared begged as tears fell down his face.

 

Jensen closed his eyes. "I can’t."

 

"What did I do? Why did you leave me? Whatever it is Jensen, I can make it right again. Just give me a chance. Please. I’ll do anything."

 

"I’m sorry, Jared. I can’t. A lot of things have changed in my life – I can’t come home to such uncertainty and instability."

 

"Uncertainty? Instability? Jensen, what in the hell are you talking about? We were fine. I was going to ask you to marry me, for fuck’s sake. How is that unstable? Uncertain? You said that you loved me, that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me…"

 

"I did. I do – I just – I can’t do this, Jared. I’m sorry."

 

"Don’t you hang up Jensen! Don’t you fucking dare hang up on me! You owe me an explanation. I deserve that much."

 

"We want different things out of life, Jared. Things are different. I’m different. I’m not going to change the path of my life for you, but I don’t expect you to change yours for me, either."

 

"How do we want different things, Jensen? The night before you left, we made love in OUR bed all day and all night. You told me over and over that you loved me and that there would never be anyone else. How could that make us want different things out of life?"

 

Jensen sighed into the phone. He shouldn’t have let his weakness dissolve and allow him to call Jared. He wished he’d have forgotten Jared’s cell number or that he would have changed it or something. This was a mistake…a huge, ginormous mistake.

 

"Is this because I said that I didn’t want kids?"

 

There it was. Jensen knew that it was coming. He knew that Jared would have figured it out.

 

"Yes."

 

"Jensen, I didn’t say that I didn’t ever want children. I just said that I didn’t want them now! I mean, it’s not like you got pregnant and had to run away so you didn’t have to wonder if I stayed because I loved you and our kid, or if it was out of responsibility, what the fuck, man?"

 

Jensen snorted into the phone. He couldn’t help himself. The situation wasn’t really funny – but laughter just poured through the phone and into Jared’s ear.

 

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" Jared growled.

 

"Oh Jared…I do love you," Jensen smiled.

 

"I love you, too, come home, Jensen. Please come back to me."

 

"I can’t. I’m sorry." Then Jensen hung up.

 

The front door opened and Sienna and Mitch walked in. Sienna was dressed in her usual old school gypsy attire, and Mitch was wearing a Woodstock shirt that had seen better days, black biker boots and torn blue jeans. His long gray hair was in a low ponytail.

 

"You ready to get that little one outta there?" he smiled, rubbing his hand affectionately over Jensen’s large baby bump.

 

"Yeah, I guess so," Jensen sighed.

 

"Alright – well Miriam and Nelani are at the surgical center waiting on us. We better get going."

 

~*~

 

Jared opened his cell immediately when it started to ring. "Hey, did you get it?" he asked.

 

"Yeah. The number came from New York. The Hamptons. I have an address," the person on the other end told him.

 

 

Jared grabbed a pen and notepad. "I’m ready."

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jensen arrived at the medical center where Miriam and Nelani worked and were waiting on them. The women made sure that the room was fully stocked with everything that would be needed to deliver the baby, and would stay there to clean the facility afterwards. It was dangerous to do a cesarean section with so few people, and to almost immediately move the patient afterwards, but unless Jensen wanted to be on television and end up in a lab being studied for how and why a man became pregnant, this was how it had to be.

 

Jensen walked, well waddled, in behind Mitch and Sienna, looking around at the sterile surroundings and institutional white walls.

 

"Hello ladies," Mitch smiled. "This here is Jensen. Jensen, this lovely lady is Miriam, and the little blonde is Nelani."

 

Jensen smiled and extended his hand. "Hi, thank you," he nodded to Miriam.

 

"Not a problem sweetheart. You don’t have a thing to worry about. We’ll take care of you and that little one in there, ok?" she smiled back.

 

Jensen only nodded.

 

Mitch clapped his hands together. "Ok, Sienna, go get him ready – we’re gonna go scrub up."

 

Twenty minutes later, Jensen was laying flat on his back, a blue sheet blocking his view, as they began the surgery to bring his baby into the world. A mask was placed over his mouth and nose as the drip was started through the I.V. to put him to sleep since nobody was trained on giving an epidural.

 

Jensen felt his eyes begin to grow heavy, his head to slightly spin…then he slipped into a deep sleep.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

"Jensen?" a soft voice whispered as a small hand gently shook his shoulder. "Jensen?"

 

Jensen’s eyes fluttered open. He turned his head and grimaced at the pain when he shifted on the bed. "Hey," he answered, his voice rough and raw. "How is the baby?" he asked, looking scared into Sienna’s eyes.

 

"He’s just fine. He’s gorgeous, Jensen. Miriam is getting him into his outfit as we speak and will have him in here in a jiffy. I know it’s only been a few hours, but we need to get you home and into bed with another I.V., and Mitch will be giving you some more units of blood."

 

"Lost a bit, huh?" he asked, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting fully up.

 

"Yeah, it was…frightening," she said as she bent down and put socks onto his feet and then pulled the sweat pants onto his legs. Jensen would probably have started to complain that he didn’t need someone to dress him, but right at the moment, he was in too much pain to care.

 

"Tell me about him," Jensen asked.

 

"Well, he’s got your eyes, but you know, babies are often born with light colored eyes and then they change."

 

Jensen snorted and nodded as Sienna pulled him to his feet and pulled his pants up his body. He sat down in the wheelchair, and she slid slippers on his feet. Sienna was just pulling his shirt over his head when Miriam came in with the baby. For as huge as Jensen got, he couldn’t believe how small the baby was. "What did he weigh?" he asked as he held out his arms for his son.

 

"Seven pounds, nine ounces. He’s a tiny one. He’s 21 inches long, though."

 

Jensen looked at the baby's small little body, suddenly feeling too big to hold something so small and precious. "I’m afraid I’m gonna hurt him," he said quietly.

 

"Nonsense," Miriam smiled, "you’re his daddy, you’d never do that!"

 

Jensen swallowed. Oh God! he thought, I’m a father!

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Jensen had been home for three days. He was finally feeling strong enough to be up and about in the house. Sienna was staying for two to three weeks until Jensen was mostly healed and could walk without straining, moaning and groaning.

 

He walked to the baby bed that was set up in his bedroom and looked down at his son. He blew tiny bubbles and started chewing on his fist.

 

"You hungry, Jayden?" he smiled gently, caressing his face with the pads of his fingertips.

 

The baby gave a small, piercing cry, as if in response to Jensen's question just as he picked him up. "You got a mess for me this morning?" he asked, heading to the changing table.

 

"Nope, just a little wet," he answered as he pulled off his diaper.

 

Jayden just kicked out his feet sleepily and started to fuss. "Ok, ok – Daddy’s hurrying." Jensen fastened his fresh diaper and fastened up his gown, then pulled him into his arms and headed down the hallway.

 

He warmed a bottle in the microwave and pulled a coffee cup down for some much needed caffeine. He was grateful that Sienna had made some before she headed out to the grocery store per her note on the counter.

 

The microwave dinged. Jensen tested the bottle temperature and then slid the nipple in between Jayden’s lips, who started sucking away.

 

"You gonna be a little pork chop like your other daddy?" Jensen snorted. He steadied the bottle under his chin, picked up his coffee and headed to the living room and sat down on the sofa and watched Jayden eat and his eyes grow heavy.

 

Twenty minutes later, Jayden was in his bassinette, fast asleep and Jensen was dressed and reading the paper.

 

There was a sudden, loud pounding on the door.

 

"Yeah – hang on, Sienna," he called out, folding the paper and tossing it on the coffee table. "You should have blown the horn," Jensen said as he opened the door. He froze as he looked up into the eyes of a very pissed off Jared Padalecki.

 

 

tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

"Jared," Jensen said weakly, his knees starting to shake. He felt woozy and dizzy.

 

 

Jared practically snarled "Hello Jensen," in his face.

 

"How did you find me?" Jensen asked, holding onto the wall as he headed toward the couch, then taking very slow, pronounced steps to sit down.

 

Jared slammed the door. "How did I find you? How did I find you? That’s all you have to say to me after leaving me months ago with no reason other than you 'can’t do this anymore?' " Jared shouted.

 

"Shhhhhh!" Jensen shushed flapping his arms. But it was too late, Jayden started to cry.

 

Jared wrinkled his brow and turned his head, taking in the site of the bassinette. "You have a baby?" he asked, frowning.

 

 

"Yes," Jensen said with a groan as he stood up and started toward their son.

 

Jared scoffed and started toward the door.

 

"Stop, Jared…" Jensen said quietly.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because this is our son."

 

Jared frowned at him. "Are you high? How can that be my son? The only person who could have possibly had a child conceived with me is Sandy – and I’m pretty sure that she didn’t have a baby and give him to you!"

 

Jensen walked slowly back to the couch and sat down. "I’m not lying to you, Jared. This is our son. We conceived him ourselves."

 

Jared laughed, hard.

 

"So, did you have a sex change? Get a uterus and a vagina along with the other things that come with it? The whole "pregnant man" thing's already been done, Jensen."

 

"Do you want to go take a paternity test? I’ll do it to prove it to you, even though I’ll probably be thrown into a lab somewhere and dissected. I’m not lying to you, Jared. I was pregnant, with your child, when I asked you about having kids. You said that you didn’t want any – I wasn’t going to stay there when I knew you’d stick around for the sake of your kid. I’ve seen too many people end up hating each other for staying together for that very reason."

 

Jared glared at him and shook his head. "You need help." With that said he turned and grabbed the doorknob.

 

"Wait," he said again, struggling to get to his feet. Jared almost came to him, but resisted the urge to do it. Jensen walked Jayden back to the bassinette and gently laid him down, placing the pacifier between his lips.

 

Jensen walked to where Jared was leaning against the door. He looked at him and swallowed the lump in his throat. He reached down and grasped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up, revealing the fresh scar held together by surgical staples.

 

Jared gaped at his stomach. "I don’t…" he said, shaking his head.

 

"Jared, I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know why it happened or how – well I mean I do – but logically, it doesn’t make sense. If you’ll come over here, I’ll show you photos of my pregnancy."

 

Jared stared at him as Jensen walked back to the couch and sat down. "Could you grab that photo album off the bottom of the table here?"

 

Jared walked over and pulled the photo album out and handed it to him.

 

"You want to see?" Jensen asked him quietly. "I have a feeling that this is the only way that you’ll believe me. I also have a CD of his first ultrasound if you want to see it."

 

Jared sat down next to Jensen, but not touching him. Jensen opened the book and showed Jared photograph after photograph of the progression of his pregnancy. There were even the typical shots of Jensen standing sideways with his shirt hiked up, showing his large pregnant belly, like every woman does when she’s pregnant.

 

Jensen showed him the ultrasound photos of the three separate times he’d had one, and then pointed to the television. "The DVD of his first ultrasound is still in the player."

 

Jared said nothing, but nodded.

 

Jensen picked up the remote and turned the TV and DVD player on.

 

Jared sank back against the cushions as he watched the small form of a developing fetus appear on the screen.

 

"If you still don’t believe me, I have footage of this with a hand held video camera, too," Jensen said, "of Mitch actually doing the ultrasound."

 

"I believe you…" Jared whispered as he stood and walked to the bassinette. He peered down at the small little boy still sucking away on his pacifier. "Can I…can I pick him up?"

 

"Of course you can," Jensen answered.

 

Jared reached in and gently scooped him into his arms. "What’s his name?"

 

"Jayden Tristan Padalecki."

 

Jared over at him, his eyes wet with tears. "Jensen, why didn’t you tell me?"

 

"You said that you didn’t want kids, Jared. I panicked. I didn’t want you to stay and be miserable and tied down with a child that you didn’t want only because it was the "right thing to do"," Jensen said, air quoting the last few words that fell from his lips.

 

"But this is my baby, Jensen. My child. You had no right to keep this from me. I mean, if I hadn’t found you, would you have ever told me that I had a son?"

 

Jensen shrugged.

 

"Thanks a fucking lot, Jensen! You need to pack his things, he’s coming home with me."

 

"Like fuck he is!" Jensen yelled out and fought to get to his feet. "You’re not taking my son away from me!" he yelled, practically lunging toward them.

 

Jared cocked his head. "But it was alright for you to take him away from me?"

 

Jensen froze. Swallowed. Opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, looking at Jared, stunned.

 

"Yeah, it’s a pretty shitty thing to feel, isn’t it?" Jared snarled.

 

"Jared…I – I don’t know what to say."

 

"What can you say, Jensen? You’re sorry? Well fuck you and your sorry’s. I’ll leave him here with you because, unlike you, I’m not an unimaginable bastard, but I tell you one thing, I will see you in court!"

 

"Jared, you can’t take this to court. You can’t. I was a pregnant man – a real pregnant man. Do you even begin to imagine the circus that my life and your son’s life will become?"

 

"I don’t really fucking care what happens to you Jensen, but I can effectively protect my child!"

 

"Jared – please?"

 

Jared walked to the bassinette and laid Jayden back down, leaning to kiss his tiny forehead.

 

"I’ll call you when I speak to my lawyer," Jared said, looking at him. "We’ll just go from there." He turned and headed to the door.

 

Jensen reached out and grasped his arm. "Jared – wait!"

 

Jared turned and swung out his arm, knocking Jensen’s hand from him. "Don’t touch me!" he yelled. "Don’t you fucking touch me. The only reason that you’re still conscious is that you're healing from surgery, otherwise I would have kicked your ass by now."

 

Jensen stepped back. He knew that he’d give Jared a run for his money if he were healthy, but in this condition, no. Not a chance. "Jared, I don’t want to fight with you. We can work this out."

 

"Work what out, exactly?" Jared said with a laugh/ "Us? There IS no us, not anymore."

 

"I meant Jayden," Jensen said quietly.

 

"How? I’ll get him six months, then you six months? Or do you actually think I’ll agree to you having primary custody and I get to see him on weekends? Fuck that! No, we’ll do it the legal way!"

 

"I’m thinking that you move in here. You can have your own room, it’s plenty big enough that you’ll have your privacy, and you’ll be around him twenty four seven, unless you're filming."

 

Jared looked flabbergasted. "What?" he asked, his voice going an octave higher. "Are you fucking serious?"

 

"Deadly."

 

"What makes you think that I could live with you after what you’ve done to me? Hell Jensen, isn’t this doing exactly what you said you didn’t want in your life - me staying because of the baby? If this is your idea of family, you’re one fucked up bastard. Do you know how many times I was on the phone with your mother, listening to her cry because she wanted to know what they did, or what I did, to make you leave?"

 

"We’re not together anymore Jared, you just said that there is no us. I just want you to be near our son, I don’t want to share custody of him, fight over him. I just want him to be safe and feel loved. But I do want you to know that I’m sorry. I don’t know how, but I’ll make it up to you Jared, I will. I promise…"

 

"FUCK YOU!" Jared yelled at him, stomping forward just as the front door opened.

 

"What in the hell is going on?" Sienna barked coming inside. "I could hear you all the way outside!"

 

Jared frowned at her, then looked back at Jensen.

 

"Jared, this is Sienna. You should remember her from the show about the fortunetellers?"

 

"Yeah, I do. What are you doing here?" he asked in a somewhat calmer voice.

 

"Well, I will leave that for Jensen to explain. Jensen, I can take Jayden out for a stroll in the park if you two need some time undisturbed."

 

"No, that’s alright. I’m not ready to be apart from him quite yet," Jensen told her.

 

"Well, you better get fucking used to it, because I told you. I’m going for full custody!"

 

Sienna looked at Jared, a hard hateful scowl on her face. "Jensen, I would like to speak with Jared alone for a few minutes if you don’t mind."

 

"Sienna, really, it’s ok. He’s got a right to be upset. I’m not trying to make excu –"

 

Sienna interrupted him. "Please? I promise that I will not overstep my bounds."

 

Jensen looked at Jared and then over to Sienna. "Ok, I’ll go to my room. I’m a little tired anyway. Jared, will you at least stay and we can try and talk about this later?"

 

"I don’t know, Jensen. I just don’t know if I can even look at you right now."

 

Jensen looked down to the floor. "I’m sorry Jared – I really am." Then he turned and walked down the hall to his room and shut the door behind him.

 

"Whatever it is you have to say to me, make it quick. I really want to contact my lawyer," Jared huffed at her.

 

"Sit, please," Sienna motioned.

 

Jared sighed but walked to the couch and sat down.

 

"Do you think that any of this has been easy on Jensen?"

 

"Sure the fuck seems so," Jared said folding his arms. "Didn’t take him long to run off without telling me a God damned thing."

 

"Jared, I gave Jensen an amulet. The amulet brings a person’s truest desire to them, as long as it is pure of heart. Jensen wanted a baby, a biological baby with you. The amulet granted him his wish. He was already pregnant when he asked you if you wanted children. You told him no. He made a mistake, Jared. He panicked and left. He loved you so much that he didn’t want you to stay because you felt you had to, because he knows the kind of man that you are. You would have stayed whether you really were excited about the child or not. Think about it Jared, people who stay in a relationship for the child’s sake end up resenting each other."

 

Jared stubbornly stared straight ahead.

 

"I was here a lot during his pregnancy. He lived with the heartache of missing you. Cried himself to sleep many nights wondering if he made the right decision. He wasn’t trying to hurt you Jared. That man in there still loves you, with all his heart, and will until the day that he dies."

 

"I’m not sure that I could ever trust him again," Jared said quietly.

 

"That’s something that he’ll have to do, earn your trust. But I know that you still love him, regardless of how angry you are right now. You are still in love with him, are you not?"

 

Jared didn’t answer her.

 

"And another thing, you should really consider moving here to be with your child. I know that you didn’t really intend to take Jensen to court over the baby. That was just the hurt and anger talking. You wouldn’t go to court because you know what your lives would become. Plus, you could use the time away from L.A. You seem to have become accustomed to getting yourself in trouble with that little tramp you’ve been hanging around with."

 

Jared glared at her. "She happens to be my friend."

 

"No Jared, she is not. You know that in your heart. Now then, come and help me with the groceries and allow Jensen and Jayden some more time to rest. Maybe you’ll help me prepare lunch?"

 

Jared sighed and rolled his eyes. But he got up and helped Sienna with her requests.

 

~

 

Jensen woke to the smell of pasta or lasagna cooking. He sat up, a small groan passing his lips at the pull of the staples. He made his way down the hall and into the living room to find Jared asleep on the couch with Jayden laying on his chest asleep. He smiled and pulled his camera off of the bookshelf where he’d set it the day before after he’d taken a photo of Jayden.

 

He focused the camera and snapped two quick photos and placed the camera back on the shelf.

 

"Did you sleep well?"

 

Jensen turned around and looked at Sienna. "Somewhat. I think that I could use a few more hours though. I thought that I’d stop being so tired after the baby was born."

 

"You will honey, you’ll be getting back to your old self in no time."

 

"Well I guess that it’s good that Jared’s still here, he didn’t storm off while I was asleep."

 

"He still loves you, Jensen, and he loves his son. He’ll do nothing to jeopardize him, or you."

 

"I love him so much Sienna, and I’ve hurt him so badly. It’s something that I never wanted to do. I never wanted him to look at me with such hatred and contempt like he did today. I don’t think that he’ll ever forgive me."

 

"You need to build his trust Jensen. Be his friend again. Now, wake him up – the lasagna is ready."

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared had stayed for two days so far. But in those two days, he’d barely spoken to Jensen, only answering direct questions.

 

On the third day, early in the morning, Jayden was crying loudly from his nursery. Jensen had allowed Jared to move the baby bed into the actual nursery so that Jared could go see him when he wanted to and wouldn’t feel uncomfortable going into Jensen’s room.

 

Jared woke first and headed into the nursery. He turned on the light and picked him up. "Hey now, what’s going on, little man? Huh? You’re gonna wake up daddy – and daddy needs his sleep."

 

Jensen stared at the baby monitor not believing his ears.

 

"Ok, lets get you changed," Jared said as he placed Jayden carefully on the changing table. He pulled open the diaper and dodged the stream of pee that erupted from his son. "Whoa there kiddo, don’t go peeing on me!" Jared laughed.

 

He cleaned him up and put on a fresh diaper, then pulled open the small fridge and warmed up the bottle in the dorm sized microwave that he’d bought the day before.

 

Jared sat down in the rocking chair and fed Jayden his bottle until he was fast asleep once again. Jared put him back in his bed and turned around. He stifled a shout when Jensen’s form was in the doorway.

 

"You scared the shit outta me!" Jared gasped.

 

"Sorry. He’s ok?"

 

"Yeah, dirty and hungry, but he’s content now," Jared half smiled.

 

"Thanks," Jensen said, looking down at the floor.

 

"For what?"

 

"For staying, and for not getting a lawyer. I don’t deserve it, but thank you."

 

"I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for my son."

 

"Our son, why can’t you say our son?"

 

"I’m tired, I’m going back to bed, I don’t feel like arguing with you right now." Jared said and walked around Jensen and into the hallway. "Oh, and if you don’t mind, call your mother. She called me nine times yesterday and I didn’t answer my phone. I’m not going to be the person who tells her why you left…not that I’m ashamed of my son. It’s just your mess with your family, you deal with it."

 

~

 

Late that evening, Jensen did just that; he called his family. He explained everything to his mother, who couldn’t believe her ears but assured him that she and his father were on the next plane and probably Mackenzie, too, after she called her.

 

Jensen knocked on Jared’s door.

 

"What?" he said, his tone aggravated and irritable.

 

Jensen opened the door and stepped inside. "I just wanted to tell you that I called my parents and they’re coming for a visit. I didn’t know if you’d want to stay or not – so I’m just letting you know."

 

"Thanks. I’ll stay. I’d like time with my son."

 

There it was again, my son. Jensen knew now that Jared was only doing it to be an ass, but he supposed that he deserved it.

 

Jensen only nodded and turned and left the room.

 

He went down the hall to Jayden’s room and found the infant awake. "Hey, what are you doing up? It’s awfully late," he said sweetly. Jensen picked him up and headed to the rocking chair. "You know, I think that you’re gonna get so spoiled. Grandma and Grandpa are coming to meet you, so if you’re not being held by me or Daddy Jared, Grandma will probably have you," he smiled, then leaned down and kissed his head.

 

Jensen started to rock in the chair and started to hum quietly. Jared turned up the baby monitor that was sitting beside his bed. He’d gone out and bought one that had several more units and placed them throughout the house. He smiled at the sound of Jensen humming to their son.

 

Jared picked up the phone and dialed his mother. It was time to fill her in on everything that had happened.

 

He picked up the house phone and dialed their number.

 

"Mama?"

 

"Jared, sweetheart! Are you ok? I saw on the news that you got arrested again…Jared, come home baby. We’ll get you into a program or something. You need to get away from L.A. – away from that skuzzy little tramp!"

 

Jared chuckled. "I’m not in L.A. anymore Mama. I’m in New York. I found Jensen."

 

Jared’s mother gasped and screeched out a high-pitched yell. "Oh sweetheart that’s wonderful! Are you two…I mean, he’s not with someone else, is he?"

 

"No, he’s not in a relationship, but there’s something else that you need to know…"

 

So Jared went into the explanation of Jayden and how he saw the photos of Jensen during his pregnancy – his actual, big, pregnant belly…the ultrasounds, and then told her that Mitch said that he’d have the DVD of the Jayden’s birth to them tomorrow.

 

Sherri and Jerry Padalecki would be on the next plane to New York.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared’s parents arrived one day before the Ackles family did.

 

Neither were cold shouldered toward Jensen, something that sorta pissed Jared off. He’d been very quiet after they’d said their hellos to Jensen.

 

Sherri was sitting on the couch, holding the baby and smiling down at his tiny little form.

 

"Jared, you and Jensen did good. He’s beautiful."

 

Jared scoffed.

 

"Ok young man, what’s up your butt? You’ve been an ass every since we arrived."

 

"Nothing. I’m fine," Jared said like a petulant child, folding his arms across his chest.

 

"If you clench your jaw any tighter and strain your face any harder, you’re going to shit your pants. Now, what is your problem?"

 

"MOM!" Jared gasped. His mother didn’t often cuss, but when she did, it always amazed and shocked her children.

 

"Jared…" she said in that oh so wonderful mommy tone.

 

"Jensen."

 

"What about him?" she asked.

 

"You two were so…so…fucking nice to him. Why? I missed enjoying the pregnancy, I missed the ultrasounds, I missed Jayden's birth for Christ’s sake! And you know what, if I hadn’t hired a private investigator who tapped all of my phones and found him, I would be missing his life! Why the fuck are you two being so nice to him?"

 

"Well, first of all, I think that I understand when it comes to why he left."

 

"What?" Jared squawked.

 

"Well, when your father and I started dating, we fell in love fast and hard. When I got pregnant with Jeff, your father was a little – upset. Scared. Said that it was too soon and he didn’t want kids yet. I did the very same thing that Jensen did. I left."

 

"That’s a little different Mom, at least he knew!"

 

"I realize that, Jared. But you don’t understand. You told him that you didn’t want kids. That it was way too soon. So he did what he thought was best. You have to think, Jared: how would you have felt if you would have been the one pregnant and Jensen said that he didn’t want children? What would you have done?"

 

"I don’t think that I would have left. I would have told him."

 

"Well, Jensen seems sincere about being sorry for leaving. Do you think that you can forgive him?"

 

"I don’t know."

 

"Do you still love him?"

 

"Yes."

 

Sherri smiled. "Then that, my sweet son, is your answer. You know that you can forgive him."

 

"I don’t think that I can Mom, and I know that I will not ever trust him again."

 

"You’re angry right now. Give it time. But there is one thing that you have to stop doing before you damage everything irreparably."

 

Jared shot her a condescending look. "Yeah, and what’s that?"

 

"Stop being so mean to him. He’s trying, Jared. Yes, he’s still in love with you, but sooner or later, he’s going to get tired of your shit and ask you to leave and then you’ll be stuck sharing custody of your child. Do you want that?"

 

Jared shook his head. "I’ll talk to him."

 

~

 

Jared was sitting on the sofa feeding Jayden. His parents decided to go walk on the beach for a few hours. Jensen was sitting in the recliner watching television.

 

"Jen?"

 

The use of his nickname startled him; Jared hadn’t been civil to him since he’d arrived, and for him to call him Jen was, well, weird.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"When are your parents arriving?"

 

"Sometime tomorrow afternoon. Why, what’s up?"

 

"Nothing, I just thought we could all go to dinner."

 

Jensen nodded and smiled. "I’d like that."

 

Jared wrinkled his brow and shook his head. "I’m not…I didn’t mean like us go out as a couple. I’m not – I," Jared sighed. "Look, it’s gonna take me some time, Jensen. I can’t just jump back into a relationship with you. I love you, I do, but I’m still so hurt and angry at you that I just can’t. I’m not sure if I ever can."

 

Jensen swallowed and blinked back tears. "I understand."

 

"I’ll try and stop being a bastard to you, but I need you to understand that there is no chance of a reconciliation. Not unless I can accept what you did and forgive you. But I don’t see that happening."

 

Jensen nodded, got up and walked to the front door. He pulled it open and then turned back to look at him. "I’m sorry Jared," he whispered as a single tear fell down his cheek. "I’m so sorry."

 

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Six weeks later

 

 

Jared, Jensen and Jayden were finally alone. Jared’s parents left after visiting for a week and a half, Jensen’s left after two weeks, and Sienna went back to New Jersey since Jared would be there full time with Jensen.

 

Four weeks earlier, Jared had left for a quick weekend trip to collect his dogs and returned two days later after he had arranged for his house to be packed up and put up for sale. Jensen said he was not raising Jayden in California. He wanted to stay in New York or agreed that they could go back to Texas, if that’s what Jared wanted, but he didn’t want to live in LA anymore. So, Jared weighed the good and the bad and decided that although he loved his parents dearly, his mom would drive him batty about Jensen and him ‘working things out’ if he moved back to Texas, so he told Jensen that living in the Hamptons was fine.

 

Jensen and Jayden had their six-week check up and both were found healthy and stable. Jensen was happy to have the staples out of the incision and was getting back to his old self.

 

Jared’s attitude evened out – somewhat. He’d still, on occasion, be snotty to Jensen and continuously said ‘my son’, but he was easier to live with.

 

Jensen walked out of his bedroom wearing only pants, his hair sticking up all over and his glasses barely perched on the end of his nose.

 

Jared walked out of his bedroom at the same time that Jensen did wearing only boxers. They both stood and stared at each other a moment, Jensen’s eyes roaming up and down Jared’s muscular body.

 

Jared was staring at Jensen’s chest and slowly drew his eyes upward to his face. He licked his lips and drank in the sight that he loved to see and had missed seeing for the last several months. As if on queue, Jayden started to cry.

 

"You’ll get him?" Jared asked and then thumbed over his shoulder. "I’m gonna put some pants on."

 

"Sure," Jensen half smiled and stepped back inside his room. He grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head and headed to his son’s room.

 

"Hey…" Jensen said in a quiet tone, drawing the word out as he stood cribside, "what’s all the fuss about, huh?" He picked Jayden up, and he almost immediately stopped crying. "That’s my boy," Jensen grinned, kissing him on the side of the head as he walked to the changing table.

 

He made a quick change from the dirty diaper and into a clean one and snapped up his jumper. "You hungry? Huh Jayden, you ready for a bottle?"

 

"I’ll get it ready," Jared said from the doorway.

 

"Thanks," Jensen said, heading toward the door and following Jared through the house.

 

Jensen sat down on the couch cradling Jayden in his arms. Jared came in with the bottle and handed it to Jensen and sat down next to him. Jensen took the bottle and slid the nipple between Jayden’s lips and smiled when he started sucking away.

 

Jared reached over and caressed the side of his tiny face. "At least something good came out of us being together."

 

Jensen looked over at him, hurt etched on his face. "Was I that bad to be with Jared? I thought that we were happy. I mean, for you to say that…"

 

Jared sighed. "Yes I was happy Jensen. That’s why you leaving me hurt so fucking bad."

 

Jensen looked down at their son and then back over to Jared. "I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to make you understand why I did what I did Jared, but I wasn’t doing it to hurt you. I’d never intentionally hurt you. I still love you with everything in me. But I didn’t want you to be unhappy. I know you, if you were serious about not wanting children, I didn’t want you to stay because you felt it was the right thing to do, and I know that you would have."

 

Jared sighed again and shook his head. "I know that that’s what you say Jensen, I get it. But you still took off with my son. Do you even know what that does to me? How would you feel if I took him in the middle of the night and you never saw him again? Huh?"

 

Jensen took a deep shuddering breath. "I’d feel like a part of me was dead."

 

"Exactly. And I know that I was never supposed to find out and that you had no intention of me knowing that I had a child, but I did find out. And to know that you never would have told me…it’s just more than I can handle. I thought you loved me more than that."

 

"I love you so much that I left, Jared. Even though it was the most painful thing that I have ever done in my life, I left you so that you wouldn't be tied down with a baby you didn't want and a boyfriend that you would eventually end up hating because you stayed in a relationship because it was the right thing to do."

 

Jared sighed. "It still doesn't make it right Jensen. What you did..."

 

"I know," Jensen said looking up at him. "I know, Jared. I think about how much I love him and how I would die right now to protect him and I know that leaving was the biggest mistake that I've ever made. I know that you love him and would have been happy the instant that he was placed in your arms. But back then, when I found out I was pregnant and I asked you if you wanted children, your

 

'no' was like a slap in the face. I panicked. It's not an excuse because I know that there isn't any excuse good enough for the betrayal I forced on you, but try and understand that I didn't do it to be spiteful or hurtful."

 

Jared sighed. "I'm trying, Jensen. I really am, but I'm still so Goddamned pissed at you that all I want to do is punch you in the face and beat the shit outta you."

 

"Would it help?" Jensen shrugged, "cause if it would, I'll go put him in bed and we'll go at it, because I'm tired of the fighting, Jared. If you beating the shit outta me'll help - then do it."

 

"It's gonna take time, Jensen. I'm really trying hard not to be a bastard to you, I really am. And I can only promise to try harder, buy you have to understand that it's not going to be a walk in the park - me forgiving you - " Jared said shaking his head. "I think that we need to start over with being friends and let me try and learn to trust you again."

 

"Friends?" Jensen asked quietly.

 

"It's all I can give, Jensen. If you want more, I'm sorry. I can't give that to you right now. Like I told you before, I'm still not entirely sure that I ever can."

 

Jensen nodded. "Ok," was all he said.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The weeks slowly started to pass by. Jared and Jensen reveled in their love for their son, watching him grow and loving him more and more every day.

 

Jensen came in the door from shopping to find Jared on the phone with Jayden laying on his lap sucking on a pacifier. "Yeah," Jared said with a smile on his face, his lingering southern lilt in his voice, "that sounds good to me. What time?" Jared paused a moment then nodded his head, his smile growing wider. "Ok, sounds great. I'll be ready. See you tonight."

 

He hung up the phone and picked up Jayden and laid him in his bassinette. "You need some help with the groceries?"

 

"No," Jensen said flatly. He knew that Jared was making plans for a date with the guy he met in the park while running one morning. This was their third date, and Jensen was seething.

 

 

"What?" Jared asked with attitude. "Are you seriously gonna be an asshole because I'm seeing Dirk again?" Jared asked.

 

"No! Go fuck Dick if you want for all I care!" Jensen snapped.

 

"Dirk!" Jared corrected haughitly.

 

"Dirk, Dick..." Jensen added flipantly.

 

"I never took you to be a little bitch, Jensen."

 

"Fuck you, Jared. Ok? Just fuck you."

 

"Do you honestly expect me to never date again just because I live here?"

 

Jensen set the bags in his arms down and turned to look at him. Jared was taken aback to see Jensen's eyes forming tears. "I don't know what I expected, Jared," he shrugged. "I guess that I hoped that you'd forgive me and we could be us again, but now I know that's not gonna happen. Go be with whatshisname, I really hope you can be happy." Jensen walked around him and headed back outside to get more groceries.

 

~

 

"What's wrong?" Dirk asked, reaching across the table, his fingers trailing gently over the top of Jared's hand.

 

"Huh?" Jared asked, looking up at him.

 

"What's wrong? You're a million miles away."

 

Jared smiled and squeezed Dirk's hand. "Nothing, just thinking. I'm good."

 

"You sure? I mean, do you want to go or something?"

 

Jared took a sip of his wine and set it back down on the table and leaned forward. "Yeah, I do want to go, but not for the reasons that you think," he smiled coyly as he dragged his finger along Dirk's hand. "Can we get the meal to go?"

 

"Absolutely," Dirk smiled and waved the waiter over.

 

Twenty minutes later, they walked inside Dirk's house, Jared behind him.

 

"You want a drink?" Dirk asked as he set the boxes of food down on the counter in the kitchen.

 

"Beer?" Jared asked.

 

Dirk grabbed two bottles and headed into the living room. "Hungry?" he said as he pointed to the boxes.

 

 

Jared smiled at him with a somewhat mischevious look on his face. "Yeah," he said, "I'm hungry." Jared took the bottles out of his hand and set them down. He slid his hand around Dirk's neck and leaned his head down, kissing him slowly, his tongue sliding inside Dirk's mouth. Dirk grabbed the bottom of Jared's shirt and pulled it up his lean body, tossing it to the floor behind them. He ran his hands slowly down Jared's naked sides, his fingers slowly skating across Jared's skin.

 

"So fucking hot," Dirk said, going to his knees and grasped Jared's belt pulling it through the loops.

 

"Stop..." Jared whispered and closed his eyes tight.

 

"Come on, Jared. Just let me..." Dirk said as he slid his hand along across Jared unresponsive crotch.

 

"No," he said backing away. "God Dirk, I'm sorry. I can't. I just - I'm so sorry," Jared said shaking his head. "I thought I could. But I can't..."

 

Dirk stood and took two steps toward Jared. "Jensen?" he asked.

 

"Jensen," Jared simply stated.

 

"Wanna talk about it?" Dirk asked holding out his hand. Jared nodded and allowed Dirk to pull him to the sofa. "Sit. I'll get the beer and food," he smiled.

 

They sat down with their food, Jared sitting sideways on the couch facing Dirk.

 

"So?"

 

Jared sighed. "I still love him, but I - " he sighed hard again. "I don't know how to forgive him."

 

"What'd he do?" Dirk asked, taking a bite of his pasta.

 

Jared fidgeted on the sofa. "I can't tell you that."

 

"Did he cheat on you?"

 

 

Jared snorted. "Jensen? No...he'd never do that. I haven't seen him in months and I know that he probably hasn't even come close to considering sleeping with someone else. He'd never do that."

 

"Then what? You can trust me, Jared."

 

"He just did something that was - cruel."

 

Dirk nodded and set down his food and scooted closer to Jared. "Look Jared, I appreciate that you told me about your breakup with him, and you were honest with me that you're still in love with him, but you also said that you were not going to get back with him, that you wanted to get out there and date, get over him, right?"

 

Jared only took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't know what to do..I'm still so mad at him," Jared paused a moment.

 

"You should move out. Being in the same house with him is a bad idea," Dirk said. "You're not going to get over him if you see him every single day, all day long."

 

"I'm not leaving my son," Jared told him pointedly. "Period."

 

"I understand, maybe you could go to court and get shared parenting with him. I mean, you both adopted him, right? So he's legally your son, too. You don't have to live in the same house to see your child, Jared."

 

"I'm not taking him away from Jensen. I'm not that cruel, and I'm not going to be in a situation where I can't see my child every single day. He's a baby - I'm not missing things with him. You said that it didn't bother you that Jensen and I lived in the same house, but now you're telling me that I should move out. What the fuck is up with that?" Jared frowned.

 

"I'm sorry," Dirk told him, "I wasn't trying to go all caveman on you or anything. I just know what it's like to stay in a situation for the sake of your kids."

 

Jared's head snapped up at him. He'd been out with Dirk three times and he had never mentioned having children before.

 

"I was married, and unhappy. I married her because she was pregnant. I told you that I was bisexual, so it shouldn't surprise you that I was with a woman...but when Rachel got pregnant, I didn't know what to do. I loved her, but I didn't want kids, but I also couldn't leave her. She was two years younger than me, scared, and I knew she'd be alone. So I asked her to marry me. We were together for six years. She got pregnant again only two months after having our daughter. It was a bad situation made worse by staying for the sake of the kids. Now all Rachel and I do is bicker and fight. We can't even have a decent conversation without one of us sniping at the other. It's ridiculous and no matter how hard we try, we can't control ourselves and not be rude."

 

Jared's face softened, he took in a deep, shaky breath. "I gotta go..." he said suddenly as he stood. "I'm sorry, Dirk. You've been a good friend, and you're really a great guy...but I gotta go."

 

Dirk only smiled and nodded. "I guess you found a way to forgive him?"

 

"Yeah," Jared smiled and leaned down, "thanks to you." Jared kissed him quickly on the lips. "I'll call you, I want you to meet Jensen."

 

"I'd like to meet him, and your son, but you need to go to him now," Dirk said pointing toward the door. "See ya, Jared."

 

"Bye," Jared said, jogging to the door.

 

~

 

Jared pulled into the drive and practically bounded out of the car and headed to the door. "Jensen!" he called out, frowning when Jensen wasn't sitting on the couch. He didn't even notice that the house was dark and he had to turn on the lights.

 

Jared looked around and headed down the hallway to Jensen's room and opened the door. "Jen?" he said, flipping on the light. When the room was empty he headed to Jayden's room, which was empty as well.

 

Jared came down the hallway into the living room and reached into his back pocket for his phone, but it wasn't there. "Where the fuck..." he started looking around for his cell. That's when he saw it: a note taped to the door.

 

Jared - hospital was all the note said.

 

 

 

 

He ripped the note off and ran to the car. Something was wrong...

 

Very very wrong.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared ran frantically inside the ER. He reached the desk and breathlessly breathed out "Jayden Padalecki?"

 

The nurse was on the phone and held up a finger in Jared's face. "Just a moment," she snottily answered. Jared grabbed the phone out of her hand and slammed it in the receiver. "No! Not just a moment, this is my son! Where the fuck is he?" he shouted.

 

Jared looked down the hall and saw Jensen sitting on the floor outside of a room, his knees drawn up toward his chest, chin resting on his knees.

 

"JEN!" Jared yelped out and ran to him. "Jensen?" Jared said getting onto his knees in front of him. "Jen? What's going on?"

 

Jensen looked at him. "He wouldn't stop crying. I changed him, tried to feed him and nothing was working. That's when I felt his forehead. I took his temperature, God Jared, it was over 102," Jensen swallowed.

 

"He's gonna be fine Jen, I just know it," Jared said, pulling Jensen into his arms and holding him tight.

 

Jensen took in a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around him. "I love him so much," Jensen said into his neck.

 

"I do too," Jared whispered. Jared pulled back from the embrace and gently ran his hand down Jensen's face. "I'm so sorry Jensen. Can you ever forgive me?"

 

Jensen shook his head. "This isn't the time or place Jared..." Jensen stated as he stood and pulled completely away from him.

 

Jared stood and reached out tugging on Jensen's arm, turning him back around toward him. "Yeah it is. This is about family, Jen. Me, you, and our son. It's the perfect time for it. I'm so fucking sorry that I was such a dick. I'm sorry, I understand now why you did it. I just hope you can forgive me."

 

Jensen nodded and took two steps into Jared's arms and hugged him tight. "There's nothing to forgive..."

 

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

"What's taking so long?" Jensen whispered. "Jay, it's been almost an hour."

 

Jared reached over and put his arm around Jensen's shoulders. "I know, we just have to be positive, man. He'll be ok. I just know it."

 

Jensen nodded.

 

"You want me to go ask at the desk again?"

 

Jensen nodded again.

 

"Ok. I'll be right back," he said and leaned over and kissed Jensen's temple. Jared walked to the desk. "Excuse me," he said to the same nurse whose hand he'd ripped the phone from earlier. 

 

She looked up at Jared and started to say something snotty and horrible, but when she saw the haggard look on Jared's face, she couldn't bring herself to do it. "Mr. Padalecki, the doctors are still in there. As soon as he's stabalized, someone will be out to talk to you."

 

"This is my son," Jared said, his voice breaking, tears falling down his face. "Do you understand that? My two month old son. He's been back there for almost an hour. Please..."

 

"I'll go and see if someone can come talk to you."

 

"Thank you," Jared told her and headed back to Jensen's side.

 

A few minutes later a woman came out of the room with the nurse and looked at Jared and Jensen, then nodded at the nurse.

 

"Excuse me, Mr. Ackles?" she asked, holding out her hand. "I'm Doctor Carter."

 

Jensen stood up and shook her hand. "How's our son?" he asked. The doctor looked at Jensen and then over to Jared. "Oh, this is Jayden's other father, Jared."

 

She smiled and shook Jared's hand. "Well, we've got Jayden's fever under control and have just gotten back some of the tests we've run. Are either of you familar with RSV?"

 

Jensen nodded. "Yeah I read about it while I was preg - um, while we were awating Jayden's delivery."

 

"What's RSV?" Jared asked. 

 

"Respiratory Syncyntial Virus," the doctor started. "It's a respiratory infection commonly found in infants and young children. It's what causes the common cold in adults and older children, but can lead to pneumonia and bronchiolitis in infants."

 

"Is he...will he be ok?" Jared whispered.

 

"We need to admit him," she said, looking at the clipboard in her hands. "Now, you said that he only started coughing this morning?" she asked Jensen. 

 

"Yes. Yesterday he seemed a little wheezy. I called his pediatrician and he said to give him a warm bath in Johnson's vapor bath and give him some infant's Tylenol and if he wasn't better today to bring him in."

 

"Why didn't you tell me he was sick?" Jared growled.

 

"Not now, Jared," Jensen snapped back at him. "Anyhow, he was better this morning," Jensen finished.

 

"Ok, well like I said, I'm going to admit him so we can keep an eye on him, ok?" 

 

"Thank you, doctor," Jared said. As soon as she was gone, Jared turned on Jensen. "Why didn't you tell me he was sick?" 

 

"Jared, he wasn't sick yesterday, he was a little wheezy. If he'd been sick, I would have told you. You were on a run with Dick when I called the pediatrician. I gave him a bath and the Tylenol and put him back in bed. After his bath he sounded fine. By the time you got home..."

 

"So, you were pissed off at me for being with Dirk again, and you decided to punish me and didn't tell me."

 

"No Jared, I wasn't feeling well myself. I was laying down when you came in yesterday, if you'll remember. You went and took a shower and then you got Jayden up. If you fucking remember correctly, I fucking ASKED you if he was alright. Do you remember that? Do you fucking remember what you said to me Jared?" Jensen asked, his eyes narrowed and jaw clenched.

 

Jared cleared his throat and closed his eyes and whispered. "God Jensen...I'm sorry."

 

"Yeah," Jensen said nodding his head. "You said my son's fine, why wouldn't he be? Then I asked you how his chest sounded and your phone rang. It was your fucking boyfriend. You answered your phone and started talking to him, so I came over, took the baby and checked him over. He was fine, so I didn't mention it. He wasn't sick."

 

Jensen started to walk away, Jared reached out and grabbed his arm. Jensen yanked it out of his hand. "Don't, Jared. Just don't. I'm going to go check on MY son, I'm not worried about you right now."

 

"Fuck..." Jared whispered and followed him down the hall.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Two hours later, Jared and Jensen were sitting in the small waiting room in complete silence. 

 

"Jay?"

 

"Hmm?" Jared answered, sitting up and looking at him.

 

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that he was possibly sick. I didn't not tell you just to be a prick because I'm mad about you dating. Ok?"

 

Jared nodded.

 

"I'm sorry that I was a dick downstairs. I'm worried about Jayden and I just..I took it out on you." 

 

Jared reached out his hand and took Jensen's in his own. "I'm fine, Jen. We've been fighting with each other so much that it's the only way we seem to communicate. I'm sorry, too. For all of it, and if you'll let me, I'll make it up to you. I love you, Jensen. I always have, even when you were gone."

 

Jensen swallowed and frowned. "What about Dirk?"

 

"He's the one who helped me realize that I was still so deeply in love with you that I couldn't be with someone else. He made me understand why you left."

 

"Be with someone else...did you - did you sleep with him?"

 

"No. We were kissing and it just," Jared sighed, "it was wrong, Jen. All wrong. I couldn't do it. I told him no and that I couldn't be with him, that I wanted to be with you. If you'll have me."

 

Jensen smiled and reached over to caress his hand along Jared's face. "I'll have you."

 

Their lips met in a slow, closed-mouth kiss, Jensen's hand still on Jared's face, Jared's hands coming to rest on Jensen's hips.

 

They pulled away, foreheads resting against each other. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'll stay awake in case they come in to get us."

 

Jensen shook his head. "I won't be able to sleep, Jared," Jensen said, getting up. "They said that they'd have him in a room by now. Why isn't he in one?"

 

"I told you babe, the doctor said that RSV is highly contagious and Jayden can't be around other children. Usually babies as young as he is would be in the nursery, but they can't put him in there with the other children. I don't know, maybe it's taking time to get the room ready for a baby," Jared shrugged.

 

Jensen walked back to Jared. "I knew that there was a good reason that I loved you."

 

Jared chuckled quietly. "Oh, so you do still love me?"

 

Jensen hugged him tight. "Yeah, I suppose so."

 

~

 

Two days later

 

 

Jensen was sitting in one of the chairs by Jayden's hospital bed, his finger in his son's tiny hand. He was unshaven, had dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes and was clearly exhausted.

 

Jared pushed open the door and walked in carrying a bag of food and two coffees. "Hey, I brought you some food," Jared said, holding up the bag. "I went to that deli that you talk about all the time and got you a turkey bacon club. I stopped by the house and got some clothes for you, too."

 

"I'm not hungry."

 

"Jen..."

 

"I'm.Not.Hungry."

 

Jared sighed and set everything down and walked up behind him. He reached out with his hands and started to massage his shoulders. "Jen, you're exhausted, you haven't slept in two days and I know that you haven't eaten anything." Jared leaned down and rested his head on Jensen's shoulder. "Now, if you quit taking care of yourself and get sick, what good are you gonna be to Jayden when he's better?"

 

Jensen sighed. "Jay, what if...what if I leave for a few minutes and something happens? Huh?"

 

Jared frowned and walked around in front of him and squatted. "Jen," he said sweetly, "Jayden's not gonna die. He's sick, yes, but the doctors said that he's not gotten any worse, and that's a good thing," he finished as he rubbed his hands up Jensen's thighs. "Dr. Carter said that it can take up to fifteen days for him to be completely over this, and if he doesn't get any worse that we can probably take him home in a day or so."

 

Jensen nodded his head. "I know all that Jared, but it still doesn't help to sit here and see our child laying in this bed sick with an IV in his body and...and..." Jensen stopped talking and blinked out tears. 

 

Jared pulled him into a tight hug. "He's gonna be fine Jen. I swear that he'll be fine."

 

Jensen gripped him tight. "You don't know that."

 

"Yeah, I do. I have faith that God won't let anything happen to him. Now, your Mom and Dad will be back here in a few hours. I want you to eat this sandwich, drink your coffee," he said pulling away, "then you're gonna go into that bathroom and take a shower and shave and put on these clean clothes, 'cause you kinda stink."

 

Jensen snorted and shoved Jared. "Asshole."

 

"You love me and you know it," Jared smiled and stood up. He grabbed the bag and handed it to him. "Eat."

 

Jensen snatched the bag from him and pulled out the sandwich. He took a huge bite as soon as he pulled back the wrapper. "Whensth thor parenths comling black?" he asked with a full mouth.

 

Jared laughed. "They said they'd be in later today. After that nurse had a coronary yesterday because there were six people in here, they've all decided that they'll come in shifts."

 

Jensen devoured his sandwich in less than five minutes and then was being manhandled into the bathroom. "Jay, if he moves a muscle, you'll get me right?"

 

"Yes, I promise that I'll get you. Shower," Jared said, handing him his clean clothes.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

"Everything looks good," Dr. Carter smiled at them. "His lungs sound great, he's doing really well. I don't see any reason that we can't let him go home."

 

"Are you sure? I mean, I can't wait to get him back home, but I don't want it to be too soon and him relapse or something."

 

"Reinfection is common. Just keep him inside and away from other children for a few more weeks. Keep him hydrated and warm and we'll go from there. You should get him to his pediatrician for a follow up in a week if he seems to get any worse, two weeks if he's doing well, ok?"

 

"Thank you, doctor," Jared smiled and shook her hand.

 

"Yeah, thanks," Jensen said, also shaking her hand.

 

"Ok, I'll get on getting him released."

 

~

 

Jensen sat in the backseat next to Jayden's carseat on the way home. Once they were inside, he wouldn't put him down. When it was time for bed, Jensen took him into his own room.

 

Jensen was laying on his side watching Jayden sleep when Jared knocked on the door. "Yeah?" Jensen answered.

 

"Hey, can I - can I sleep in here?" 

 

Jensen smiled. "Sure."

 

Jared smiled and bounded to the bed and climbed in, placing his hand on Jayden's stomach. "He doin' ok?"

 

"Yeah, great. I know that he should be in his own bed, but I just need him to be near me right now."

 

"I know what you mean," Jared smiled.

 

"Jay?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Tomorrow, I want us to talk, ok? About everything. We haven't done anything but fight for two months. I think that in order for us to go forward with us being us again...we need to talk about it."

 

"Yeah, I think so, too. And no fighting, I promise."

 

Jensen leaned in and kissed him. "I love you."

 

"I love you, too."

 

 

~

 

The next morning Jensen woke first. He fed and changed Jayden and then began to cook breakfast. Jared soon woke to the smells of bacon and coffee permeating the air. He walked into the kitchen and leaned down to kiss Jayden. "Hey little man," he smiled and kissed his tiny forehead again.

 

He walked up behind Jensen and wrapped his arms around his waist. Jared pressed his lips to the back of Jensen's neck. "Morning."

 

"Morning," Jensen answered. He turned his head and leaned forward and kissed Jared slowly on the lips. "You hungry?"

 

"Starved." 

 

"Good, you want fried or scrambled?"

 

"Fried."

 

"Over easy?"

 

"Yep," Jared answered.

 

Soon they were sitting at the kitchen table eating their breakfast. Jared was the first to break the silence. "So, we gonna talk about it?"

 

"Yeah. You want me to start?"

 

"Sure."

 

"Have you really forgiven me?" Jensen asked him.

 

"Yes. I told you that I did, and I did. I won't mention it again."

 

"Jay, I want you to understand that now I know that I made a mistake. I know that I was wrong and that there is nothing that can ever make up for the pain that I inflicted on you. I should have known that you would love your child with every fiber of your being and that you wouldn't have ever stayed in a situation just because I had your son. I just panicked when I found out that I was pregnant. I don't know why I did it. But leaving was the only thing at the time that made sense. I didn't know how you would feel with me being pregnant in the first place. I wondered if you'd believe me or try to have me committed. I just wasn't thinking clearly and I'm sorry. I don't know if I can ever make it up to you, but I'll try."

 

"You don't have anything to make up for, Jen. I told you that I forgave you, and it's the truth. Did it hurt me when you left? Yeah, of course it did. I felt like a part of me died when you were gone with no explanation other than you couldn't do this. I wondered month after month if it was something that I said, something I did. I just wanted to know why you stopped loving me."

 

"Jay," Jensen whispered and leaned forward and slid his hand along Jared's face. "I'm so sorry. I never stopped loving you. Ever. Not even when my heart was breaking each time you went out with Dirk."

 

"I'm sorry, Jensen. The only reason that I went out with him was to hurt you. I don't know why I was so cruel."

 

"Because you wanted to hurt me as much as I hurt you, Jared. It's human nature. It's ok, I know that you only did it to hurt me, it wasn't because you actually felt something for him."

 

"He's a nice guy. I'd like for you to meet him. You'd like him. Maybe we can introduce him to someone, you know, hook him up with someone who isn't gonna use him like I did."

 

"Maybe," Jensen snorted. "I'm sorry Jay. I never wanted to hurt you. I'd never intentionally rip your heart out and stomp on it like that. I hope that you can believe that."

 

Jared reached over and lightly touched Jensen's cheek. "I believe you, it's ok, Jen. I don't want you to feel guilty for it anymore. I don't like that you left, but I'm not mad at you any longer. I have a beautiful little boy because of you, and now I have you, too. I'm ok. Really. I just wish that I didn't hurt you with Dirk, I'm so sorry for being such a bastard to you. I know that had to feel like the worst betrayal. But I swear to you that I didn't do anything with him other than kiss him. I couldn't have. Not ever. I'm so sorry."

 

"Shhhh," Jensen said, his voice low and steady. "I'm not worried about it babe, really," he whispered.

 

"I am," Jared answered, "I hurt you."

 

"I hurt you, too."

 

"Start over?" Jared asked.

 

"Yeah, start over. As a family," Jensen smiled and leaned over and kissed him long and slow. Jayden gave out a whimpered cry just as their lips met.

 

"Dirty diaper," they both said as they broke apart.

 

"I'll change him, why don't you get him his pacifier?" Jared asked.

 

"K," Jensen said, heading out of the room. He stopped and looked back as Jared lifted their son up into his arms.

 

"Shhhhh," Jared soothed, "Papi's got you, I'm gonna take care of that icky diaper," he said, his voice low and quiet. He looked over at Jensen who was still paused at the fridge with a loving smile on his face. "What?" Jared asked.

 

"Nothing. I just missed you, and I love you."

 

"Me too, Jen," Jared nodded. "Me too."

 

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Three years later

 

 

Jensen rolled over and watched his lover, his husband, sleep. He gently traced his finger along the strong line of his jaw and across his lips. He leaned over and kissed his slightly parted mouth and whispered “I love you,” quietly.

 

“Love you,” Jared mumbled, rolling closer and snuggling against Jensen’s chest. Jensen slid his arm around his waist and kissed him again.

 

Jared’s eyes fluttered open and slowly focused on him. “Hey,” he smiled lazily.

 

“Hey,"Jensen smiled back. "The kids'll be waking up from their naps soon. I still can't believe that they've slept for two hours."

 

“Really?” Jared asked. Jensen nodded. "Damn, I'm sleepy, and it’s your fault…keeping me up all night – “ he said, wagging his eyebrows.

 

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night.”

 

“I’m not complaining now, just stating the truth,” he laughed. “In fact – I was thinking,” he said, pushing Jensen over onto his back and getting on top of him, “that maybe we could do it again.”

 

“Uh-uh, no. My ass is off limits at least for today…” 

 

“Ok, then,” Jared said, scooting until he was straddling Jensen’s prone form. “How 'bout I ride you?”

 

“Jesus…” Jensen moaned when his husband slid his ass across his growing erection.

 

“You can call me Jared,” he chuckled as he ran his hands up Jensen’s bare chest, stopping to rub his fingers playfully over his nipples. Jensen shifted slightly, his hands going to Jared’s waist, his fingernails lightly digging into his skin.

 

“God Jay – what you do to me,” he moaned, his hips lifting off the mattress, his cock fully hard and pressing against the crack of Jared’s ass.

 

“Want me to ride you, Jen?” he whispered, leaning down and taking his mouth.

 

Jensen grasped him tighter and rolled their bodies. “No…not yet,” he growled. Jensen kissed him hard and deep, his tongue pressing harder and harder into his mouth. He raked his teeth across his chin, and down his neck, biting hard on the supple flesh where neck meets shoulder.

 

He licked and sucked on Jared’s throat, his pulse point throbbing in his mouth. There was going to be nothing gentle about their lovemaking today.

 

Jensen slid his lips lower, his mouth huffing hot breaths against the tight, hard lines of Jared’s six-pack. Lower. His nose was buried in the dark, musky curls as he sucked Jared’s cock to the base. 

 

He slid his sinful lips up the thick meat, his head bobbing fast around the head. “Guhhh – Jense. Shit!”

 

Jensen smiled and pulled off with a wet pop. He turned his body, knees straddling Jared’s head and then sucked him back into his mouth only to arch back, Jared's cock left bouncing lewdly as Jensen cried out when Jared’s tongue lapped at his hole. 

 

Jared gripped Jensen’s ass in his hands and pulled him open, his thumbs gently easing the puckered entrance apart. He lapped inside him, his tongue licking him open, easing the tightness with overwhelming pleasure.

 

Jared managed to spread his legs further apart, Jensen taking the hint and sucking him back inside his mouth.

 

Jensen started slowly rocking his hips. Jared laid his head back on the pillow and allowed him to fuck down into his mouth, but slid a finger inside his wet hole, crooking it slightly, finding the spot.

 

Jensen began moaning from the dual stimulation of fucking down into the wet, hot heat of his husband’s mouth and then back on the long finger rubbing inside him. The shock waves and vibrations of Jensen’s moans brought Jared to orgasm shamefully fast, Jensen drinking every drop of his come down. He allowed his limp cock to fall from his red swollen lips, his forehead coming to rest against Jared’s thigh. “Fuck, Jared…guhhhh – “ he gasped as his hips pistoned faster.

 

Jared sucked him harder, swallowing his cock down his throat. Jensen pressed his mouth to the inside of Jared's thigh to muffle his moans. Jared released Jensen's dick and licked the tender flesh between his hole and balls as his finger grazed him inside perfectly again.

 

Jensen cried out as his orgasm ripped through him, as his blood boiled under his skin, and he sprayed thick come across Jared's chest before collapsing on top of him.

 

"Uh, Jen? I do love you, but I'd kinda like if it you'd turn around."

 

"I thought you liked my ass?" Jensen snorted.

 

Jared raised his hand and smacked down hard on left ass cheek. "I do, but you know, if you're gonna fall asleep, I'd rather you do it with your ass away from my face," Jared chuckled.

 

Jensen went up on all fours and climbed off the bed. "You sure know how to spoil the mood," he said, walking to their en suite bathroom.

 

"Aww baby, I'm sorry!" Jared said, following him.

 

"Just gonna clean up, don't really want Jayden or Cadence - well, you know," Jensen said, motioning to the come on Jared's chest.

 

~

 

Jensen opened the bedroom door and walked into the hallway to see Jayden coming out of his bedroom rubbing his eyes.

 

"Daaaaaaddddyyyy," he started to whimper. Jensen squatted down to catch the running three year old who had now started to cry.

 

"What's the matter, sport?"

 

"I hadda bad dream," he sobbed into Jensen's neck, wrapping his arms around it.

 

Jared came up behind them. "Hey-ya buddy, what's wrong?" Jared asked, kissing his forhead.

 

"He had a bad dream," Jensen said as he ran his hand up his son's back. "You wanna tell Daddy what it was?"

 

"N-no," he cried harder.

 

"I'll get Cadence," Jared said just as their one year old let out a piercing wail. "She's gonna be grumpy," he said, pushing her door open.

 

By the time Jared had Cadence changed and got into the living room, Jensen was sitting on the floor with Jayden in his lap watching Tom and Jerry.

 

"Dadadadadadadada!" Cadence giggled, her curly brown hair and chubby cheeks poking out from her smile at seeing Jensen.

 

"You know that it's not fair that both of them said Dada first," Jared complained.

 

"Hey, you were the one who came up with them calling you Papi, not me," Jensen said with his eyebrows raised.

 

"Blah blah blah..." Jared said, passing Cadence off to him. "You still suck."

 

"Which I'm sure you appreciate," he said, wagging his eyebrows.

 

"Jen!! The kids!"

 

"Jayden is engrossed in Tom and Jerry and didn't hear a thing that I said, and Cadence doesn't understand, so chill, okay?"

 

"Well, the next time we have company and Jayden says that I love your sucking, you get to explain it!" Jared laughed and sat down beside him.

 

They'd moved back to L.A. just after Jensen had Cadence because Jared got a job on a television show based there and couldn't bear being away from his family for weeks at a time.

 

Jensen didn't really mind living back in L.A. considering that they agreed that one of them would work while the other didn't, since they didn't want a nanny raising their children. Jensen had been in a few movies over the last few years, working when Jared was off for hiatus for his TV series or between jobs. They both seemed happy with the arrangement, and to be quite honest, Jensen didn't like not being with his children all day long. Not that Jared did, but he seemed to handle it better.

 

The doorbell rang and the dogs exploded into fits of barking and running between the living room and fhe front door. "Calm down!" Jared yelled to the overexcited animals.

 

Jared pulled the door open to find a haggard looking Christian Kane looking at him. "Hey man, come in."

 

"Jen here?" Chris asked. Jared wasn't offended; he knew that Chris and Jensen were best friends and that whenever Christian needed a shoulder, it was Jensen's he used.

 

"Yep, in the living room with the kids."

 

Chris nodded and walked down the hall. Jared knew the second that Chris had stepped into view because he heard his son scream "Uncle Chris!"

 

"Hey there kiddo," Chris smiled and bent down, scooping up the toddler. Jayden hugged him around the neck.

 

"I missed you!" Jayden informed him.

 

"I missed you too, kiddo!"

 

"Where's Uncle Steve?"

 

"He's at home. Uncle Steve wasn't feeling good today."

 

"DOWN!" Jayden squirmed. Chris set him down on the floor and laughed when he took off down the hallway.

 

"You uh, you got a minute Jen?"

 

"Yeah," Jensen said, standing and handing Cadence over to Jared. Jared walked back through the house to where Jayden had gone to give Jensen and Chris some privacy. "What's up man? You look like you've been crying."

 

Chris let out a quiet laugh. "Yeah, I don't cry."

 

"Sure," Jensen said, placing his hand under Chris' chin and looking him in the eye, "that's why your eyes are red-rimmed. Now what's up? You and Steve have a fight?"

 

"No."

 

"So you didn't break up or anything?"

 

"No."

 

"Your parents ok?"

 

"Yeah," Chris sighed, letting his head fall back on the couch. "Uhhhhhh!" he groaned and pressed his hands into his eyes. 

 

"Chris, you're scaring me!" Jensen said, scooting closer and putting his arm around him. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

 

"You know we decided to adopt, right?"

 

Jensen lovingly rubbed his friend's back. "Yeah."

 

"We can't," Chris said quietly, "and it's all my fault."

 

"How?"

 

"When I was in college I got arrested for possession, a fucking dime bag of weed man, and now we can't have kids."

 

Jensen pulled him into a hug. "Steve upset?"

 

"Yeah, but he's not mad at me. He knows that it was just me being a dumb kid. But I could see the pain in his eyes, ya know? I didn't ever want to be the cause of something like that."

 

Jensen hugged him even tighter. "Do me a favor?" Jensen said, pulling out of the embrace.

 

"What?"

 

"Close your eyes," Jensen told him.

 

"You're not gonna give me a wet willy are you?"

 

"No, now close your eyes, dumbass."

 

Chris sighed and closed his eyes. Jensen reached up and pulled off the necklace that he hadn't removed since the day Sienna placed it around his neck. He smiled and put it around Christian's neck. 

 

Chris' eyes fluttered open when he felt the amulet fall against his chest. He lifted it up and looked at it. Steve and Chris were the only people that they trusted with the truth of how they got their children, other than family.

 

"Jensen - you shouldn't have taken it off. Why?"

 

"Hey, I reached true happiness a long time ago, my friend. I've just not had anyone to pass it on to...until now. Just like Sienna told me, don't take it off until you've reached true joy and contentment in your life. You and Steve want a baby, and the amulet knows that. It'll give you the ability to get pregnant."

 

"Wait...whoa, what?" Chris asked sounding panicked. "I didn't say that I wanted to have a baby!"

 

Jensen chuckled. "Dude, you want a baby, right?"

 

"Yeah, but...can't I like want Steve to have the baby?" he asked, looking at the amulet.

 

"I don't know, but that wouldn't really be fair, would it? Wishing it on him...and not yourself? Besides - I'm not sure if the amulet works that way. So go home, have sex, get knocked up," Jensen grinned, patting Christian's stomach.

 

"Duuuuude," Chris whined.

 

"Quit whining you pussy! You'll be alright," Jensen said, standing up and walking a few feet away from him. He chuckled and looked back at Chris. "Oh, and by the way?"

 

"What?" Chris asked, his brow furrowed.

 

"I still have all my clothes from when I was pregnant with Cadence...of course you'll have to have the length taken up some..." he laughed.

 

"Oh, you're dead Ackles!" Chris yelped, bounding off of the couch and running toward Jensen.

 

 

~le end


End file.
